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Fornication and Living Together Before Marriage
- By Fern Poyser
- Published 12/23/2007
- Sex , Christian Living
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The dictionary meaning of the word "fornication" means any unlawful sexual intercourse including adultery. In the Bible the Greek definition of the word "fornication" means to commit illicit sexual intercourse. What constitutes unlawful sex? Whose laws do we live by? Worldly standards or laws many times do not always line up with the Word of God. The founding fathers of the United States established many laws that were originally based on Christian standards and the laws of the Bible.
However, through time the United States has drifted far from these standards and at the present our moral standards are shocking the world. However, immorality is not only found in the U.S. but is a world-wide epidemic. Societies throughout history and around the globe have embraced sexual standards that are called sins in the Bible.
Fornication is not just tolerated in our society but is actually being encouraged. The sin of fornication is being committed even among Christians, as many couples "live together" and have sex before marriage. The Bible tells us to flee this sin. We have counseled Christians of the opposite sex who share an apartment and they told us they were not having sex so this surely wasn't wrong. The Bible declares these words in 1 Thessalonians 5:22-23: "Abstain from all appearance of evil. And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ." Our lives as Christians are a living witness to others and we cannot break the laws of God without hindering others from coming to Christ.
We must live our lives in purity before a sinful and wicked world. We should not be living according to their standards but according to God's standard in the Bible. No couple should live together outside the bonds of marriage. Many say they live together before marriage to see if they are compatible as they don't want to divorce. This may sound like a justifiable reason for committing the sin of fornication, but in God's eyes it is still sin. Statistics however, show that those who live together before marriage are more likely to get a divorce than those who do not.
Living together shows a total lack of trust in God and a failure to commit to Him the choosing of a mate. Christians who are living in this situation are out of the will of God and need to repent and seek God as to whether this person is the right one for them. If it is God's will for them to be together they should marry. Otherwise, they need to change their living arrangements. As Christians, the goal of any relationship should be to cause the people in our lives to love and know the Lord better. Living together is shameful and selfish as the parties do not care what others think or how they might affect their families and others.
They are living to please their own lust and selfish desires. This type of life style is destructive and especially so for children whose parents are living a bad example before them. No wonder our children are confused about right and wrong when parents degrade the sanctity of marriage by living together out of wedlock. How can living together cause children to love and honor God when their parents break the laws of God before them because they are lustful? Young people today need to be taught to abstain from sexual intercourse and remain pure virgins before marriage.
So many problems in marriages today stem from the fact that they are not virgins when they marry. Young people are bringing wounded emotions and diseased bodies into their marriages because of prior promiscuous affairs. STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) are so widespread that the statistics are shocking. There are 12 million new cases of STDs annually in the United states and 67% of these occur among persons under the age of 25. In fact, every year one out of six teens contracts an STD. 100,000 to 150,000 women become infertile each year as a result of STDs.ยน Others endure years of pain as some of these diseases are incurable. What a tragic price to pay for sexual sins. The Bible is right when it says fornication is a sin against one's own body. The sin of fornication is not only defined as illicit sexual intercourse between those who are not married but also is an umbrella for other sexual sins as well.
The Bible also speaks of the sin of incest as fornication in 1 Corinthians 5:1: "It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife." The Bible also lists whoremongers as fornicators in Revelation 21:8: But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
All prostitutes and pimps are fornicators. Couples who just "live together" according to the Bible, are committing the same sin that whores commit. Singles who "make love" fall into the same category. Just because society has accepted this type of living does not make it right. The Bible must be our standard of what is right and wrong. We must change our standards if we do not want the wrath of God to fall on us. God hates sin but He loves the sinner. If anyone repents and calls on Jesus today He will help them to come out of any illicit relationship and heal them of all past hurts and even heal any disease that they may have contracted.
God gave us the laws in the Bible for our good. They are not meant to deny us any good thing but they are given so we can enjoy the proper sexual relationship in the proper time. If we obey the words of the Bible and "flee fornication" and glorify God in our bodies, the Lord will bless us beyond what we could believe. Psalm 145:17-21: "The LORD is righteous in all his ways, and holy in all his works. The LORD is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth. He will fulfil the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them. The LORD preserveth all them that love him: but all the wicked will he destroy. My mouth shall speak the praise of the LORD: and let all flesh bless his holy name for ever and ever."
(Copyright © 2005 by Bible.com Ministries)
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10 Responses to "Fornication and Living Together Before Marriage" 
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said this on 14 May 2009 6:39:18 AM CST
I know that is a bad thing to live with a man when both of you are not married. i ones made the same mistake and was driven out of the relationship. but when there is a kid out of such relationship is their any tendercy that God will forgive them their sins and bless the relationship?
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said this on 06 Nov 2009 12:37:52 PM CST
Yes, God can forgive their sins even when there is a kid out of such relationship if:
1. they repent from their sins, accept Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Saviour i.e. become born again christians and desist from such behaviour 2. stop living together and go their separate ways or officially get married Once you accept Jesus into your life as your personal Lord and Saviour, old things shall pass away behold all things are made new. Your sins are forgiven and forgotten. you become a new creature. |
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said this on 26 Aug 2010 12:39:45 AM CST
I am living with someone and not yet married and we have plan to do so. I want to know if you have once been married officially but not by church and you have been divorce can i still married this new person in my life. When i married this man i was not a born again christian yet and i was born again when i met this man.
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said this on 24 Nov 2010 3:07:04 PM CST
Hello,
Get married as soon as possible. God desires for us to live within the confines of a committed marriage relationship |
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said this on 26 Sep 2010 8:49:07 PM CST
In 1995 when I was in the hospital after I ruptured a disc in my back, a woman came to visit me. I was 40 at the time. She professed to be a Christian. This woman phoned a man who was a stranger to me. He came to my hospital room and brought flowers and stayed there all afternoon and came back in the evening. The woman knew this man but he was a stranger to me. He wasn't her husband. Okay, so when this woman came to the hospital to see me, she was saying to me that me and this guy could live together. I was shocked and said, "I can't shack up." Then she said, "Don't think about it like that." and "He won't touch you. There will be 2 bedrooms." The reasons she gave for suggesting this was that there was no room in the hospital, and that my own home was unfit for me to live in and she said he was "being good" suggesting this and she became very angry when I refused to go along with it. She then told me that I could find my own way home, ( a distance of 14 km. in subzero temperatures, with a weak back and
I didn't have the proper clothes with me to withstand the cold. She told me he wasn't going to "touch me". I replied that when I was laying in my hospital bed, he held my hand for a few seconds, which I found very creepy, like he thought I was his wife. Around the same time she tried to get me to shack up with this man, her 20 year old daughter left her husband,and took her baby daughter with her and they commenced divorce proceedings and she thought that was okay. (They both claimed to be Christians.) Soon after her 20 year old Christian daughter met a young man in the bar, who was Roman Catholic, and she was having sex with him and got pregnant and had another child. I suppose she is still "witnessing" and saying she's a Christian. Well,she can fool some people some of the time,but she won't fool God. |
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said this on 25 Jan 2011 5:43:08 PM CST
I am 30 years old, I have done everything the biblical way, waiting for your husband for sexual intimacies. What if you feel like the only way to acheive a marriage is to settle. It seems men dont really want virgins anymore? Is it really worth it to continue to wait?
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said this on 26 Jan 2011 6:15:59 PM CST
Hello Shaun,
Do not concern yourself with whether or not men really want virgins. The act of keeping yourself pure before marriage is an act of obedience to God. So you should not be concerned with what social norms are, but be more concerned about being obedient to God and doing what He commands us to do. |
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said this on 08 May 2011 5:16:08 PM CST
Shaun,
your mistake is wrong thinking, 90 per cent of men like virgin, I am a man i always wish myself that God should give me a virgin to marry. any time you indulge yourself into sex without proper marriage you automatically bringing demons into your life. it's only unbelievers that don't like virgins because of their ignorance. there is so much blessings that comes to your life after marriage if you marry without fornication. what you just need to do is to seek the face of God, tell God you want to marry a man that fear Him, he will provide it for you. |
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said this on 10 Mar 2011 1:50:30 AM CST
According to our traditions once a man pays for your dowry this means that you become his wife. I have lived with a man in this condition but went back home after we had misunderstandings. My parents are born again and they didn't see a fault in my living with him. I am pregnant with his child and he hasnt come to my parents to seek for his 'wife' back. I am born again and so is he. I have repented those sins. Please advise on what to do.
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said this on 30 Sep 2011 1:27:29 AM CST
thank you for this article am in an adulterous relationship right now may the Lord help me to break up with the guy and start everything all over again and forgive me for all the past wrongs
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